“I feel like I’m living the 1930’s life, I work, you stay home and take care of the kids and clean the house.” Said DH before heading off to his second job yesterday (DH works part-time at a coffee shop as we try to shovel ourselves out from debt).
“Yeah,” I said.
“Two years ago you would have been mad that I said that.” (Two months ago I would have been too.)
“Maybe I was wrong.”
It’s become apparent that even in this short time he’s noticing a change. And there’s been a change in him too. When he got home last night I mentioned that I was having a hard time with DS1, I don’t know if it’s related but he tidied up a bit without me even asking in the slightest. It wasn’t a lot but it meant the world.
This is a continuation of the question: Where did my faith go? You can read part one here, it’s mostly just background but still good to know about me.
DH and I met online when I was 13 (GASP!). We became fast friends, best friends even. I could talk to him for hours, about anything, about everything. It often got me in trouble, because I would stay up too late. Mom would ban me from the computer but I would sneak on anyways. I felt lonely on the days/weeks/even months that for some reason or another we didn’t talk. It was never romantic though, he had his girlfriends, I had my boyfriends. I always had this little crush on him though but being half a country away it just seemed silly. The summer before my senior year (he’s two years older), I told him about my little crush. He admitted he had feelings for me too. We decided to give it a chance. This by the way was the first time we had both been single at the same time. But yes we were living thousand of miles apart and I was still in high school. It wasn’t for another year that I met him, the summer after I graduated. Only I didn’t just meet him, I moved in him with him and his family. My Dad, an alcoholic kicked me out and I wasn’t speaking to my Mom. I bounced between friends for a couple of weeks until I turned 18 and then I took a chance, bought a one way ticket and moved in with him in August of 2003. Here’s the quick version of the rest. I missed my family enormously, I moved back WITH him in May of 2004, he proposed in May of 2005, and we married in September of 2006. So it worked out people, I found my one online. But what does this have to do with my faith?
It has everything to do with it because at some point in our relationship (I don’t remember when exactly) DH told me two things. 1. That one of the main reason’s he fell for me is because I wasn’t scared of my Faith. I was proud to be a Christian, I told everyone. I would gladly give up a social event for a church thing, and often did. Most weeks you could find me at Church 3 (or more) days a week. 2. When DH was a regular Church attendee back in his home town, before I was in the picture, his pastor asked him to describe his perfect woman. DH’s description eerily resembled me, both physically and my personality.
So what happened to number 1? I don’t attend Church 3 days a week, not even regularly. I am usually there once a week for choir rehearsal but I generally only attend service if the choir is singing. I certainly don’t gab about my Christianity to the general population. I really only have one friend that goes to Church, and I don’t even talk about it with her. I’m timid about prayer (although I honestly always have been). And I don’t extend myself to be more involved or participate.
I have an idea of what happened…but I think I’ll save it for next time. You know I wasn’t really expecting this to get so lengthy.
Have you had a falling out with your faith like me?