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My Snow Angel

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Oh Dear Readers,

I know that there aren’t very many of you yet, but I’m sorry that I disappeared. I had a week of baby teething crankiness. The tooth, or teeth haven’t pushed through yet, but I believe he is doing better for now. They must have made some major progress up in his gummies. Also, I had to bring my laptop in for repair. I had been living with a crack in the LCD screen for quite some time. With this crack came a black blob in bottom right corner of my screen. Well this blob randomly decided to double in size. I was quite sad. So I brought it to the store I bought it from to see if there was anything they could do about it, and turns out they could replace the screen for only 250.00. It was either 250 for a new screen or 1500 for a new computer. Well I can’t afford a new computer. So here’s hoping it lasts another 4 years :). Oh by the way, everything is so crisp and pretty, it’s like having a new computer.



This last week aside from the above has been interesting. DH has been working late at his regular job. Normally I would ask “When are you going to be home?” and I would get exasperated responses of “I don’t know.” or “Never.” I decided DH viewed this question as slightly nagging which when he’s already stressed out about work he obviously doesn’t need any nagging. So I changed my game up a bit and asked “Are you going to be home for Dinner?” Mind you Dinner here is normally 5ish, but I told him it could be 6. This went over extremely well. DH was home by 6:30 at the latest instead of the somewhere between 8 and 10.  I had dinner ready for him each night. I think this is very good for him. He can get an extra two hours of work in, come home to a nice meal and still enjoy time with us. Instead of coming home between 8 and 10, not eating, and feeling totally burned out. Oh and if you notice, “Are you going to be home for Dinner?” still leaves room for a no, so if he really has something that needs to be done NOW, so be it. It won’t sound like I’m nagging or complaining.

We went to Church again yesterday. Although…we almost didn’t make it at all. We got there in time for the sermon lol. As soon as we were pulling out of the parking lot DS1 pipes up “I have to go potty!” We started potty training at New Years and DS1 just started telling us when he needs to go quite recently so we couldn’t just tell him to wait. So we pulled back in to the parking spot, unbuckled him, took him back inside, waited for the elevator, run run run to the apartment, go potty, come back out, wait for the elevator, get back in the car… At that point I was ready to just skip Church and go to Perkins, but DS1 wanted to go to Church so that’s where we went. We spent the rest of the day at my Mom’s house. DS1 went outside to play in the snow with Papa. When Grandma asked him what his favorite thing to do in the snow was he said making Snow Angels!

Then we went home and I cleaned for two hours (I’m serious, this last week was not very productive).

I will be doing the Time-Warp Wife’s bible study of Esther. This is the first online bible study I will be participating in. If anyone wants to be buddies drop me a line. Accountability baby. It starts today.


The beginning.

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Have you seen my about page? It gives you a general idea of what’s going on here, but let me elaborate.

This is my journey to become a helpmeet or in modern terms a house wife, home maker, mom etc. But I’m not doing it for me I’m doing it for my husband and God. But here’s the kicker, my husband did not ask me to do this, he would never ask me to do that. He also has no idea. I haven’t told him my plan. I feel he might think I’ve gone completely daft.

Here’s where it gets personal, and just another reason why I want to keep this private. My husband has unmedicated depression. It’s not horrible, things are probably 85% good but I get really bent out of shape when he goes in to the bathroom seeming just fine and comes out totally withdrawn and seems angry. When my husband had a bout with depression about two years ago he went to talk therapy and was actually on medication for a while. He didn’t tell me much, but one thing he told me is that being in a mess is one of his triggers. I don’t blame him, I don’t like sitting in a messy house either… but I’m a bit domestically challenged.

For a long time I pushed and pushed him saying I need help, I can’t do it by myself. Half of this junk was his anyways, so get off your bum and help and we’ll have a clean house. Recently though, I’ve come to realize that I can do it, and I want to do it. First it was for me, now it’s for him. In scouring the internet for cleaning tips and ideas I came across Time-Warp Wife¬†and I was intrigued. I downloaded her ebook and read the entire thing in an afternoon.

I used to laugh at these house wife type, why on earth would you want to stay home and clean up after your husband and have meals ready for him when he gets home? My husband even jokes about such things. “Why are woman’s feet smaller than men’s? To fit under the sink ledge so they can do dishes.” And yes, this is a joke. Or he would again say jokingly “WOMAN! Go make me a sandwich!” To which I would just roll my eyes. But dealing with the depression, discovering I can handle the mess, and maybe I enjoy the work (a little), I suddenly see why. And then finding that it was in fact God’s intention makes it uplifting, and easier.

So here’s my goal, to be my husband’s helpmeet, and reintroduce God in to our family. More on that¬†later.
I want it to be natural though, I don’t want my husband to wake up to a stepford wife, so I’m starting small. This week aside from getting the house cleaner (these things take time), I am making sure I give him a kiss in the morning (if I’m awake), when he gets home, and before bed. Simple, small, but a start.