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My Snow Angel

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Oh Dear Readers,

I know that there aren’t very many of you yet, but I’m sorry that I disappeared. I had a week of baby teething crankiness. The tooth, or teeth haven’t pushed through yet, but I believe he is doing better for now. They must have made some major progress up in his gummies. Also, I had to bring my laptop in for repair. I had been living with a crack in the LCD screen for quite some time. With this crack came a black blob in bottom right corner of my screen. Well this blob randomly decided to double in size. I was quite sad. So I brought it to the store I bought it from to see if there was anything they could do about it, and turns out they could replace the screen for only 250.00. It was either 250 for a new screen or 1500 for a new computer. Well I can’t afford a new computer. So here’s hoping it lasts another 4 years :). Oh by the way, everything is so crisp and pretty, it’s like having a new computer.

Sincerely,
HMJKatie

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This last week aside from the above has been interesting. DH has been working late at his regular job. Normally I would ask “When are you going to be home?” and I would get exasperated responses of “I don’t know.” or “Never.” I decided DH viewed this question as slightly nagging which when he’s already stressed out about work he obviously doesn’t need any nagging. So I changed my game up a bit and asked “Are you going to be home for Dinner?” Mind you Dinner here is normally 5ish, but I told him it could be 6. This went over extremely well. DH was home by 6:30 at the latest instead of the somewhere between 8 and 10.  I had dinner ready for him each night. I think this is very good for him. He can get an extra two hours of work in, come home to a nice meal and still enjoy time with us. Instead of coming home between 8 and 10, not eating, and feeling totally burned out. Oh and if you notice, “Are you going to be home for Dinner?” still leaves room for a no, so if he really has something that needs to be done NOW, so be it. It won’t sound like I’m nagging or complaining.

We went to Church again yesterday. Although…we almost didn’t make it at all. We got there in time for the sermon lol. As soon as we were pulling out of the parking lot DS1 pipes up “I have to go potty!” We started potty training at New Years and DS1 just started telling us when he needs to go quite recently so we couldn’t just tell him to wait. So we pulled back in to the parking spot, unbuckled him, took him back inside, waited for the elevator, run run run to the apartment, go potty, come back out, wait for the elevator, get back in the car… At that point I was ready to just skip Church and go to Perkins, but DS1 wanted to go to Church so that’s where we went. We spent the rest of the day at my Mom’s house. DS1 went outside to play in the snow with Papa. When Grandma asked him what his favorite thing to do in the snow was he said making Snow Angels!

Then we went home and I cleaned for two hours (I’m serious, this last week was not very productive).

I will be doing the Time-Warp Wife’s bible study of Esther. This is the first online bible study I will be participating in. If anyone wants to be buddies drop me a line. Accountability baby. It starts today.

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Sunday Funnies & A List

It’s Monday! Sometimes it gets too hectic to write. In fact, I have two half written posts sitting in my drafts, and I’m not sure I’ll finish and post either of them. Interesting how something mattered one day, and you go back to look at it a couple of days later and realize it didn’t matter in the least.

Yesterday, I took the whole family to Church. My Choir was singing, and I thought what the heck why not? It was a disaster, in a good way though. DS1 stole the hearts of everyone in the Sanctuary. He’ll be three at the end of March, and I can honestly say he did pretty good. He normally can’t make it to the Sermon, but he made it all the way to offering and communion without any major hiccups. Speaking of hiccups, DS1 was sitting on my lap during the Sermon (by the way I haven’t a clue what the Sermon was about), he was sitting nice and quietly, then randomly he says quite loudly “HICCUP!” and kicks the pew in front of him. Okaaaaay…. weirdo. He did it again, so I to him that he needs to be quiet. s the next one he whispered “HICCUP!” and still kicked the pew. So I reminded him and also told him not to kick the pews, that people are trying to listen to the Pastor. It didn’t go on much longer. Before the Sermon there’s a Children’s Message. This is the first time I let him go up there since his older pal MrJ was up there, I told him to go up and sit by him. There he went… the wrong way. After I redirected him off he goes, shuffling as slow as anything. The Pastor started the message without him, and I think he made it up there about half way through. I’m sure he was just delighted with all the attention. I also had to go up there and swoop him up when they were done because he was ready to stand at the pulpit with the Pastor. The choir sang after the sermon. DS1 came and stood by me and danced and clapped his hands with us. He proudly exclaimed “That was fun!” when we were done. Oh by the way DH was entertaining DS2 (8months) this whole time, who was getting restless at this point but doing quite well. After service was Bistro (or fellowship) and everyone fawned over DS1. I held DS2 at this point who lovingly grabbed the pitcher (PITCHER) of water and dumped it on me and the table and floor. Everyone had something nice to say ;) as I’m pretty sure I was going cross-eyed at this point. All in all though I say it was a success even though I was ready to go back to bed when we got home.

Oh, and DS1 has been potty training since New Years, and I just have to give him two thumbs up for TELLING us when he had to go TWICE. No accidents :D.

I just wrote about prayer last Wednesday, which happened to be the start of mid-week Lent services. Our Pastor likes to have a theme for mid-week services. This year’s theme is (drumroll) … prayer. How interesting. I think I will make an effort to go to every service, because I’m quite interested in what he has to say.

I made DH’s lunches for the week last night.
Salads and Cottage Cheese.
DH is on a mission to lose about 100lbs. He lost 30 last year, and wants to lose 50 this year. So lots of veggies it is. ;)

Here’s my to-do list for today. It may not get done though because I have MissJ today when I normally don’t on Mondays.
1. Sweep and Mop kitchen.
2. Vacuum
3. Wash Diapers
4. Find a home for some certain things behind the dining table. :p
5. Guest Bathroom
6. Empty ALL trashes.

Debt is Dumb

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave of the lender.
Proverbs 22:7

 My DH and I are trying to get out of debt. It’s been a humbling journey so far. And a lot harder than I wanted to believe. My Mom introduced us to Dave Ramsey and the idea of being debt free after we purchased our first new car (go figure) in Spring 2008. Up until then I always viewed debt as a tool, as I think most of society does. I was also working in commercial banking, loan payments, amortization schedules, libor vs prime rates were in my everyday vocabulary. And after all you need a credit score to buy a car, or a house, all those big-ticket items that most young couples want for themselves. It’s pretty hard to get a credit score without that wonderful plastic card. DH and I never had a lot of credit card debt, not by many standards anyways. I don’t remember how much exactly, but we had less than 10k for sure. Our real debt problem is the remainder of that car note, and the dreaded student loans. Anyone else waiting for the student loan bubble to pop? With the students loans and our car note we still have about 30,000 dollars in debt. (YIKES!)

What we’ve paid off since 2008:

1. HOM Furniture (around 2500)
2. Orchard Bank CC (600 or so)
3. WaMu/Chase (2000)
4. BofA (2000)
5. My Student Loan (3000)

What we have left:

1. Car Note (7000)
2. DH Student Loan 1
3. DH Student Loan 2
4. DH Student Loan 3

Dave Ramsey has this saying. “Live like no one else so you can live like no one else.” It’s an odd saying. It confused me at first. But it’s really quite simple. Live like no one else (get out of debt, stay out of debt) so you can live like no one else (live without debt, GIVE without debt). How many times do you pass the offering bowl without putting anything in it because you cannot afford another penny let a lone the common 10% to give to God? How often do you throw away the requests for donations to the Lupus Foundation, or the Children’s Hospital? How often do you turn away the Girl Scout down the street…. wait… ok maybe we don’t turn down the girl scout. What I’m saying is, I do, ALL THE TIME. Because we have this mountain of debt looming over our shoulders. We’re living pay check to pay check and barely even managing that. We are SLAVES to the creditor. I don’t want to be that way. I want to be able to tithe appropriately. I want to be able to give to the Zoo foundation. I want to be able to send my kids to college if that’s the path they choose. DH and I still need to practice discipline. Sometimes it’s harder than other times. But even though I was laid off in 2009, I can proudly say that we have not used a credit card (obviously, they’re paid off) since Summer of 08. And it feels great. Oh and by the way, even though we lost our townhouse, we did not have to pay ridiculous amounts of security deposits because our credit didn’t end up being that bad since we paid those credit cards off.

So how am I helping the cause as a stay at home Mom and homemaker? For one, if DH needs to stay late or picks up a second job I don’t complain. It gets hard being the sole provider for my babes for weeks at a time but I know DH is working hard. I babysit, this covers the car payment and a little more. I plan a menu and grocery shop to a list. This keeps costs down and eating out to a minimum. I also try my best not to overspend in other areas, and I also ask before making a less than needed purchase. Most of all I’m DH’s cheerleader. I help him to see the light of the tunnel and give him timelines.

The beginning.

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Have you seen my about page? It gives you a general idea of what’s going on here, but let me elaborate.

This is my journey to become a helpmeet or in modern terms a house wife, home maker, mom etc. But I’m not doing it for me I’m doing it for my husband and God. But here’s the kicker, my husband did not ask me to do this, he would never ask me to do that. He also has no idea. I haven’t told him my plan. I feel he might think I’ve gone completely daft.

Here’s where it gets personal, and just another reason why I want to keep this private. My husband has unmedicated depression. It’s not horrible, things are probably 85% good but I get really bent out of shape when he goes in to the bathroom seeming just fine and comes out totally withdrawn and seems angry. When my husband had a bout with depression about two years ago he went to talk therapy and was actually on medication for a while. He didn’t tell me much, but one thing he told me is that being in a mess is one of his triggers. I don’t blame him, I don’t like sitting in a messy house either… but I’m a bit domestically challenged.

For a long time I pushed and pushed him saying I need help, I can’t do it by myself. Half of this junk was his anyways, so get off your bum and help and we’ll have a clean house. Recently though, I’ve come to realize that I can do it, and I want to do it. First it was for me, now it’s for him. In scouring the internet for cleaning tips and ideas I came across Time-Warp Wife and I was intrigued. I downloaded her ebook and read the entire thing in an afternoon.

I used to laugh at these house wife type, why on earth would you want to stay home and clean up after your husband and have meals ready for him when he gets home? My husband even jokes about such things. “Why are woman’s feet smaller than men’s? To fit under the sink ledge so they can do dishes.” And yes, this is a joke. Or he would again say jokingly “WOMAN! Go make me a sandwich!” To which I would just roll my eyes. But dealing with the depression, discovering I can handle the mess, and maybe I enjoy the work (a little), I suddenly see why. And then finding that it was in fact God’s intention makes it uplifting, and easier.

So here’s my goal, to be my husband’s helpmeet, and reintroduce God in to our family. More on that later.
I want it to be natural though, I don’t want my husband to wake up to a stepford wife, so I’m starting small. This week aside from getting the house cleaner (these things take time), I am making sure I give him a kiss in the morning (if I’m awake), when he gets home, and before bed. Simple, small, but a start.

Katie