RSS Feed

Tag Archives: serving the lord

Part 3

Wow, I didn’t mean to leave you hanging there. Both my kiddos got pretty sick. DS1 seemed more flu-like, DS2 got an ear infection. I also nanny for a baby girl and she has had a cold too. Sick kids! I also had a big cake pop order. They turned out really cute and the person who got their really loved them.

Anywho, so what happened? I have a couple of ideas.

First, I graduated. Suddenly I didn’t belong. There was no group to be apart of unless I wanted to join a bible study with people twice my age. The church I was with at the time sort of just cut me off. I told them if they needed any help to let me know. They never called. It was depressing. S, my mentor, also moved, so my contacts were dwindling as it was.

Second, and it’s interesting that I’m writing about this now, but one of my dear friends passed away on Valentine’s Day in 2005.  He was the drummer in our band, and I always considered him to be like a little brother. B was so fun, and talented. After the funeral I had an extremely hard time attending service because first his drum set sat there empty, and then someone else filled the spot. After it was filled I couldn’t bring myself to go anymore. I did end up getting married in that Church because I had no other Church home, but I haven’t been back since.

Third – this is pretty personal, but here goes. I had sex before I was married. It was with my now DH, so I can say I’ve only been with one man. However I still feel guilty (he doesn’t know this), and a bit tarnished. I think this is just something I need to forgive myself for.

 

So I’ve distanced myself. I do belong to a church of sorts now, although we’re not officially members. And as I said I don’t attend regularly, just when the choir sings. I really need to work on that.

Speaking of work, I’ve been working on being a help-meet. That is the purpose of all this. Lately I’ve been trying to not bicker about things. Letting my DH “be the boss”. Giving him final say. Yesterday I caught myself. I want to get a new dining room table because the one we have is quite small, so I found a very reasonable set on craigslist. I showed it to him, he kind of scrunched up his nose…it’s not my style either, but it’s incredibly functional and sturdy. We went back and forth a little…and then I remembered to let him be in charge. So I said OK, if you don’t want it, we won’t get it. Funny how not putting up a fight suddenly has him considering what I’m asking for.

 

Advertisements

Where did my faith go part 1

I grew up in a Lutheran Church, today I still attend a traditional Lutheran Church. It is not about being Lutheran, but I find a lot of comfort in that setting. It is what I know, and I like the tradition of it. When I was young I went to Sunday school like many other Children. When I was 9 my parents got a divorce and so attending Church regularly became a little sporadic. My Mom usually went, but if I were to go “with” my Dad it was more like he dropped me off and then I would have to wait to be picked up. I didn’t go to Church much after that until I was forced to in 7th grade for Confirmation.

When I was younger I believed that the divorce didn’t affect me, but I see now it did. I became a pretty angry and withdrawn girl. I was forced to get confirmed, I didn’t out rightly protest, but I sure did grumble and roll my eyes a lot. Do I really need to listen to these guys talk for 2 hours every Wednesday and then socialize with a predetermined group being separated from one of my closer friends? Not only every Wednesday but every Wednesday for 4 years?! At the beginning of confirmation my Mom also forced me to go to a youth event. That’s where I met S.

S was a game changer for me. She was the youth director (not pastor) and organizer of the Youth Leadership Team (YLT). S called out my pessimistic attitude straight up. It bothered me so much that she would call me pessimistic that I forced myself to smile around her and tried to participate just to prove her wrong. She’s the only one in my life that has called me Kate, and the only one that will ever be allowed to at that. S convinced me to get more involved, I was allowed to join the YLT in 7th grade rather than at the usual high school requirement. And I started serving the Lord through leadership.

With my fellow YLT I sang songs, put on skits, organized games and events for the younger children. In high school I worked with the music director and we started a band. We played before confirmation sessions (all ages) and our big thing was that we played for the midweek Lent services. I went along on retreats to be a chaperone and do YLT and band things. I went to camp every summer and was a counselor in training. I was going to be a counselor after I graduated.

I enjoyed reading the bible. I loved singing his praises. Church was home for me.

_________

This is getting lengthy, so I decided to split it in to two. :) Tune in next time.

In other news DH and I went to the pro hockey game last night. It was a blast and a great night out. After we got home and the boys were for sure asleep DH actually opened up to me a bit. I feel like my little bit of effort is starting to have some effect on him.

<3
Katie